When Mommy has a Migraine . . .

. . . Ellie gets to watch too much TV. This is also the case when Mommy has morning sickness. So, pretty much Ellie watches too much TV every day. The last several weeks I have spent the first part of most days curled up on the couch and doing one of the things I swore I wouldn't do as a parent: letting TV help babysit my child. It's something of a comfort to me that Ellie's attention span isn't long enough to really sit through any television show, so she does quite a bit of playing and ignoring the TV more often than not. She is at such a distractable age, which for the most part is useful. I asked Brady if he thought she could have ADHD, to which he replied, "No, she just has ADH. It doesn't become a disorder until kids are older. Right now it's normal."

I try to console myself, as most parents in this predicament probably do, that the shows we are watching are at least educational. You can't go wrong with PBS Kids, right? On closer inspection, though, I wonder just what she might be learning from it all.

First up is Curious George, which sometimes we miss if we take a while at breakfast and I am secretly happy that we will have one less show to watch that day. But secretly I am also sad because, of the line-up, it's probably my favorite. Ellie adores the Curious George books, and always gets excited to see him. I do find myself commenting now and then that, "That's not what it's like in real life, Ellie. People don't really trust monkeys that much. They're not just going to let them run their store while they take a break, or ask them to feed their farm animals while they are out of town." I do appreciate the sometimes the narrator seems to get how ridiculous the scenarios are and throws in a slightly sarcastic jab. Our most quotable line from an episode after George comes up with some absurd solution to a problem he probably caused: "Thank goodness for monkey brains!" And then later, "Score another one for monkey brains!" I like to picture my four-year-old nephew saying this whenever he gets excited about something.

Next comes The Cat in the Hat. It became slightly less obnoxious to me once I realized the Cat is actually voiced by Martin Short, and not someone who is just trying to sound like him. I think it's pretty great that he would do a show for kids on PBS. An obnoxious show, but still. The premise is that the two kids playing together run into some kind of problem, which they figure out after going on an adventure to visit some animals with the Cat in the Hat (always asking permission from their mothers--a nice touch to this more modern version). Ellie likes that they sing so many songs. I think some of their songs are kind of disturbing. Like when a mother bunny explains to them how they keep themselves from their predator, the fox, by using their senses to detect his presence. As they head out to find food, she sings, "What do we do when we go for a munch?" to which her little bunny children cheerily reply, "Sniff, look, and listen . . . so we don't become lunch!" A bit morbid for my taste.

After this show comes Super Why, which is Ellie's favorite, so we usually try not to miss this one. In this show the Super Readers have to solve "super big" problems (like one of them loses a toy or doesn't know how to tie their shoes) by going into a book and finding how the characters solve a similar problem, uncovering the "super story answer." Seriously, about 25 minutes to figure out that if you can't find something, you should "look for it," or if you can't tie your shoes, you should "learn." In the story the super readers have to help with the problem through use of the alphabet, spelling, rhyming, or reading, which are the parts Ellie really likes. Whenever Alpha Pig has to go through the whole alphabet to find the right letters, Ellie's face lights up. She loves letters. They always ask the viewer questions and Ellie loves to participate and answer back, even though she is almost always 100% wrong. But she really gets into it, so it's fun to watch her watch the show. They might ask something like, "A-B-C-D . . . what comes after D?" And Ellie will respond with a confident, matter-of-fact, "R!" It's one of the shows she will actually sit with me to watch, which she knows means I will let her watch it just to get a chance to cuddle with this constantly on-the-go baby.
So I guess I do like that show okay, except that they completely pillage the whole fairy tale canon and water down every story for the kids. Aesop and the brothers Grimm and Mother Goose would be rolling in their graves if they saw what was happening to their beloved stories. The tortoise and hare finish the race together, with the solution being to simply "enjoy the game," even though Aesop provided a perfectly good moral to the story. Humpty Dumpty uses a slide to get down, so no great fall. And I won't even try to explain what terrible things they did to Rumpelstiltskin. Sure, kids are learning their letters, but at what cultural cost?

Next comes Dinosaur Train. That show is weird, weird, weird. Covered in crazy sauce. Sometimes Ellie starts to cry when it comes on. I don't blame her. We usually turn the TV off at this point and go play a while before her nap. There's only so much sanity you and your child can give up for education's sake.