So that was Christmas

Well, we've packed up Christmas for another year (all except the outside lights; the weather has not been cooperating for that yet). Now we're both back to teaching and wondering where in the world our Christmas break went. (sigh). We did have a very nice Christmas break playing with family and friends, but it was far too fleeting. I'm including just a few highlights below. I got quite a few pictures of nieces and nephews because everyone else's camera batteries died on Christmas Eve. So I'm putting in a few of those. But first I am including a bit of Christmas cheer Brady and I wrote on Christmas Eve. A little background first: my family decided it would be great to start a tradition of having a sort of talent show on Christmas Eve. All the grandkids could play the piano, sing, we have some musically inclined in-laws, my sister plays the violin, etc. We, however, did not realize this was the program until just a day or two before. Since Brady didn't have his guitar, we were a bit stumped on what to do (not that Brady's cooking for people wouldn't count). A few years back I wrote some funny little poems about my nieces and nephew, which other family members illustrated and made into books for presents for them. So my mom suggested I write them another poem for my talent. I was pretty short on time, so I got the ball rolling, then recruited Brady to help me finish it on time. The other item you need to know about this is the origin of "Stinklebert." A few months ago our then-two-year-old nephew, Benjamin,  got very interested in learning everyone's whole name (he had sarted to figure out the whole middle and last name thing I guess). When he asked Brady what his whole name was, without missing a beat Brady responded, "Brady Stinklebert Wiggins." It was a new introduction to teasing for the kid, and pretty much sums up Brady's relationship with most of our nieces and nephews. Eventually our nephew accepted this as fact and subsequently named one of his trucks "Stinklebert." He even used the name as a verb, I guess meaning "to tease" in his mind (as in "I'm just stinkleberting you"—his words, not mine). Brady and I were actually a little proud of that. Anyway, out of this Stinklebert lore arose this little creation of our own (Brady was quite pleased with coming up with 3 rhymes for "Stinklebert").  It's obviously a bit of a rough draft, but i doubt we'll ever go finish it, so here it is.

Stinklebert’s Revenge

 

You’ve heard that Santa won’t come to children awake,

a lie all children are told—not true, a mistake!

The reasons you’re told to sleep are phony and fake;

The true reason I’ll tell you, and for your own sake.

 

Yes it’s true you must sleep, but it’s not what you think;

Santa’s not hiding while you kids catch a wink.

There’s one teasing elf with a ripe, raunchy stink,

a trickster and joker, a dirty ratfink.

 

His name is Stinklebert and he ruins the toys

for the kids who won’t sleep, for those who make noise.

It’s not the destruction that Stinkle enjoys,

it’s just that he’s frightened of small girls and boys.

 

You see Stinkle is not the brightest old elf,

he mostly sews buttons, puts toys on the shelf.

Till one day said Santa, “I can’t do this myself,

I’ll send Stinkle ahead to get things ready for twelve.”

 

So it started like this, one Christmas Eve night

Stinkle was straight’ning stockings and setting things right.

Out tottered a child into Stinklebert’s sight,

the elf gave a shriek out of terror and fright.

 

“Hem-a-na-ha-ma-na-herma-na-herk!!”

Our frightened old Stinkle was going berserk.

He pulled down the stockings, ’twas almost kneejerk,

smashed the tree and the toys so nothing would work.

 

He took all the bounces out of the balls,

he tore up toy soldiers and broke all the dolls,

he splattered new paint sets all over the walls,

with a blood-curdling cry heard from here to Twin Falls.

 

He shouted and screamed until every wrinkle hurt.

He tore the new clothing, even the twinkle shirt.

Upon Christmas dinner he liberally sprinkled dirt.

The Yuletide in ruin, all care of ole’ Stinklebert.

 

Christmas was ruined, was over and done,

no toy was unbroken, not even one.

Tea sets were shattered, toy trains wouldn’t run,

When Stinklebert finished, nothing was fun.

 

So now Stinkle’s ready if kids aren’t in bed,

before they can scare him, he’ll get them instead.

The havoc he’ll wreak, well, that need not be said,

We all know that Stinkle’s not well in the head.

 

Even if you’re awake, Santa comes all the same,

but remember the tricks of old Stinklebert’s fame.

He’ll smash up your presents, oh what a shame,

What good is a stocking a’kindled in flame?

 

So on Christmas Eve close one eye and then two,

sleep snugly and soundly all the night through,

keep snoring and snoozing and sawing logs too

because if you don’t he’ll stinklebert you!

  

Ben and Jared thought off-roading in the snow was a good idea. It really wasn't.

Hannah, Mindy, and Grace listening to the Christmas talent show.

Acting out the nativity.

Jonathan's not so sure about this sheep thing.

Bleating?

Big brother Ben shows him how to pose for the camera (seriously, he had his hand like that for 3 pictures in a row)

Grace, Isaac, and Hannah playing with my new toys (balancing bamboo dragon flies from Brady's dad).

Ben thought he was a pretty good present.

Uncle "Stinklebert" with Jared (aka Jelly-face) at Ben's (aka The Knock-em-out Kid's) birthday party. Brady introduced the kids to the concept of nicknames.